I was in a blue mood yesterday. Not entirely, just enough to put me in the back 40. You see I go for walks to think. A.A. Milne wrote about such things as "thinking spots" to ponder and to work out problems in one's brain...out in the woods. So I walked. I took in the fall colors, I reminisced the days I went for picnics as a kid this time of year. Still, the ache that was pushing me into the woods still lingered and I could not shake it. I thought about how we all have those worries...maybe a few at a time, or maybe one big one, that keeps us from focusing on anything else. I had one such worry. I tried to think about other things...no such luck. I was stuck.
Then it happened, in a split second everything changed. As if I had been brought back to reality... I turned the corner and I saw it...this years Christmas tree...A perfect Christmas tree! Standing in all it's glory amid the yellow Aspens and wise old Cedars. I know I know, a bit early to be thinking of a Christmas tree, but as my Father, Mother, Husband, sisters and dog will tell you it usually takes me a very long time to find the perfect tree. It always has to feel right, I will inspect a tree from every angle, imagine it with my ornaments, check for any dead needles, and quite simply I have to LOVE it. And trekking through 40 acres inspecting every hopeful prospect, imagining it in my living room. Usually this is all taking place in over 2 feet of snow right at the first of December.
But here it was today. When I needed it the most, not for the fact that I can take this off my to do list. But it was a 7 foot Grand Fir that gave me hope, hope out of this worry that brought me here in the first place. Nothing else seemed to matter as I began the wheels turning in my head. I will come back with the family after thanksgiving dinner and cut it down, which got me thinking how wonderful it is that I am hosting Thanksgiving dinner! Which got me thinking of all the wonderful things I need to do before then, And little things like the excitement of using my grandmother's "friendly village china" and how the little cousins will play like the old ones years past. Then I was giddy, truly giddy about winter, family, home...and My Christmas tree.
So, I gathered a branch softly in my hand, I took in the smell of the bough and I thanked my tree for this gift today. I told it to hold on another month and I will be back to get it and make it the Grandest of Grand Fir Christmas trees. Then I walked back up to the house...with a smile.